Nick Cage and the great “wiffle ball in the sky”

May 25, 2009 at 3:31 am 3 comments

So, it’s the holiday weekend. A weekend for cookouts, drinking a beer, catching up on schoolwork and housework and… movies. The big “hollywood blockbuster” season generally starts over Memorial Day weekend, so… my husband and I decided to spend one of the last cool evenings before the deathgrip of summer hits us full-on and go to the drive-in.

We go to the drive-in a couple of times a year — it’s a cheap way to see a couple of movies and usually you can sit far enough from people that I don’t feel the need to stage a mass murder of people who (a) talk on cell phones during movies, (b) talk to each other during movies, (c) have loud sex during movies (in a THEATER!), or (d) bring their loud, ill-behaved, children to the movies so they can ignore them while the kids run up and down the aisles stealing people’s sodas and popcorn. Not that I’m bitter or anything. I just really feel there should be a test before people are allowed into a movie theater. If you can’t sit down, shut up and keep all of your appendages (and I do mean all of them) in your own seat, then you can’t come in. So… anyways… back to the drive-in…

If you haven’t been to a drive-in recently, it’s quite a steal. You get two movies for six bucks… granted, you don’t necessarily get to pick both movies, but you still get two movies for less than one ticket at my neighborhood AMC theater. So last night, hubby and I went to see the new Tom Hanks movie “Angels and Demons” which was paired with the Nicholas Cage movie, “Knowing”. I enjoy Tom Hanks and Nick Cage, so I am happy with this pair of movies. “Angels and Demons” was okay, not spectacular but not a disaster, so I give it a three out of five. It is completely not memorable, however. You don’t believe me? On the way out of the theater after watching “Knowing”, hubby asked me what the first movie we saw was. I couldn’t remember. We’d seen the movie two hours before and already it was gone the way of a jello-mold at a Methodist church potluck.

Then came “Knowing”… a movie that had some promise for awhile. It had an interesting premise and, like I said before, I like Nicholas Cage so I tend to cut him some slack. Yes, sometimes his movie choices are a little… well… okay, I’ll just say it… sometimes they are a little horrific (hello? have you seen “City of Angels”, I may never truly forgive him for that one), but he is Nicholas Cage and you know that even if the movie has the worst ending in human history (City of Angels) it’s still going to be reasonably okay because Nicholas Cage is there being slightly snarky at every turn. I like that.

Well… let me say that “Knowing” HAD promise. The key word in that sentence is HAD. As in, once upon a time it could have been something and then they had a giant wiffle ball come out of the sky and scoop up two kids and a couple of bunnies while beings who might be aliens or maybe even angels begin to glow and wave. It was like the most bizarre turn of events ever. This ending is on a par with the giant “deadlight” filled spider debacle that ended Stephen King’s story “It”. But at least with “It”, I had a few fun, hopeful moments as I prayed that the ridiculous spider-thing would finally kill the annoying woman who was John-Boy’s wife. Yes, I know I’m mixing my character names. I just watched a WIFFLE BALL/ARK COME OUT OF THE SKY AND SCOOP UP TWO KIDS! I’m allowed a little slack here…

And as hubby and I drove out of the drive-in wondering what the first movie we’d seen was, and what the hell the set people were thinking when they said “oooh… let’s make the spaceship/ark/angel thing look like a wiffle ball… that would be SOOOO fabulous!”, I came to the conclusion that there went another four hours of my life I’ll never get back.

Nick Cage, you are on notice. I cannot cut you slack much longer. Pick a damn good movie and make me proud or we are done.


Entry filed under: Politics.

Give it some freaking time!

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. William  |  May 25, 2009 at 7:08 am

    On par with the deadlight spider – oh, that’s bad, because I still think of that as one of the worst endings I’ve ever seen. I wanted all the characters in the movie to die horribly just because of the stupid spider with deadlights. Maybe I even wanted the ACTORS to die because of it.

    Oh, and the line “gone the way of the jello-mold at a Methodist church potluck” caused me to spray my monitor with iced tea. I have to say that’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in months.

  • 2. Scott K  |  July 24, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I should have heeded your warning about this movie especially since I hate Nicholas Cage, but Daryl wanted to see it so we watched it the other night.

    What a crap fest! The entire movie MADE NO SENSE!!! If aliens were going to rescue a few children to restart mankind, WHY THE HELL DID THEY STAND AROUND LOOKING SCARY ALL THE TIME? Why did they have that girl create that list FIFTY YEARS BEFORE THE ARMAGEDDON?!? What purpose did the list serve??? NONE!!!

    I want those two hours of my life back.

  • 3. DorSporie  |  December 11, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Wow, I did not heard about that till now. Thankz!!


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